I’m so pleased to feature our first guest blogger Selina Almodovar, you can read all about her and the great work that she does smoothing the course of love just below her post.
During my mid-20’s I was living single. This was not by choice.
I was recently dumped by the man I thought would become my husband, and I was taking it pretty hard. While things were supposed to be going great at that point of my life, I had reached an all-time low.
I thought that if I did all the right things, then life would go according to plan.
So I graduated from college, found a guy to love, and I even started going back to church. To me, I was doing all of the right things.
I was expecting a well paying job and a wedding by the following year. That was my plan.
Instead, our economy was hit by the Recession. I became a “boomerang” kid and was forced to move back home with my parents after graduating. And my soon-to-be-“husband” dumped me. Needless to say, this messed me up.
All I could think about was the fear of ending up alone.
So I began my hunt for a husband. What I wanted at the time was simple: handsome, God-fearing, and child-free. Back then, I thought God would know my heart’s desire and bless me with a man who would fit my description.
I was young enough to party all night, flirt with anyone I wanted, and still kept a steady job while moving up the corporate ladder. However, living this lifestyle lead me to all the wrong men.
But I continued to hold onto such verses as, Psalms 37:4 that says,
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
During this season of my life, I had lost the ability to love others. I lost all hope in men, realizing that they were all bad apples and if I was going to stick to my plan, I might as well settle with the one who was “close enough” while focusing on my career.
It was at this breaking point when I realized that I had become angry with God.
What about His promises? What about the desires of my heart? I felt that I had been robbed during the peak of my life. My faith had grown to the size of almost nothing.
In everyday places with no extraordinary meanings, God would point out random couples along my path.
As I drove home from work, I would notice a couple romantically walking into a restaurant…
As I would sit in the park, I would notice a happy couple, just married, taking their first photos as husband and wife.
As I would make a run into Wal-Mart, I would notice a crazy couple shopping together, arguing over which brands to purchase.
And something inside of me began to boil.
“If God found someone for all these people, then He surely must have someone for me!” Click To Tweet
“If God found someone for all these people, then He surely must have someone for me!”
Do you have any idea how nerve wrecking this was for me? God Himself was constantly reminding me of my heart’s desires, and yet I was nowhere near finding the perfect person for me.
I was on the brink of getting myself into an exclusive relationship with a man when I knew in my heart that he was not the right man for me. At the very last minute, I turned him and his love down. I never felt clearer on a decision that I made using my heart than that decision to stay single.
After that, I finally decided to surrender my husband hunt to God. If anyone could find the right person for me, it would be Him.
All this time, I was looking to God, praying that He would grant me the desires of my plan. I never realized that finding my future husband was going to be a part of His plan.
It was in this setting that I met my future husband.
But by this time, I was completely terrified of all men, dating, and relationships! It took us years of getting to know each other, countless books, seminars, and classes on dating and marriage, and endless hours of counseling to get us comfortable enough to become man and wife.
During this time of dating, I still had some HUGE walls up!
How will I know that this is the right guy for me?
How will I know that our marriage will last?
How will I know that our sex life will be good if we’re waiting till marriage?
While the fear and worry were there, I was reminded daily that this was no longer my plan any more. Because this was all God’s plan, He stayed in control and worked out all of the details.
If you’re out there, hurt, alone, and desperate to find your future husband, then takes these lessons that I have personally learned,
- Trust that God knows your heart’s desires and is not ignoring them.
- Make a list of what you want in a husband and stick to it.
- Let your heart lead you to the right relationship.
- When your faith is low, ask and allow God to show you why you should continue trusting in His perfect plan.
After a year of dating, a year of engagement and two year of marriage, the relationship I now have with my husband is unlike any other relationship I have ever experienced in my entire life.
God has not disappointed me with His plan yet! I pray that He will reveal His love-filled plan with you!
Excited to link up with Grace and Truth today 🙂