Your Biggest Why and Breaking through Resistance

I’ve had wake-up calls before. For instance, falling ill changed my life but it took time and I went down really, really low before I could even begin to see any light at the end of the tunnel. Yet, as much as I have grown and changed over the years I still struggle with resistance.

I hear people say that you need to have a BIG WHY in order to overcome your resistance, I get that. But let’s take a moment to think about what resistance really is. Resistance is defined as the impeding or stopping effect exerted by one material thing on another, it literally means hold back.

The Dam of Resistance

I want you to think of resistance as a huge dam that is stopping river water from passing through the other side. Most of the time we think the purpose of overcoming resistance is to get the water through, right? As long as water is getting through, no matter how small,  we are satisfied that something is happening and we’re making progress. We congratulate ourselves for our success and look forward to the changes that come with it.

But have you noticed how more often than not, whilst you may have moved forward a few steps, nothing much has changed? That’s because we have been duped. The fact that water is ‘allowed’ to get through is a very intelligent yet subtle appeasement technique of your defense mechanism designed to make you feel like something is shifting and changing so that you will stop pushing.

But actually, it’s meant to distract you from the fact that the dam is still there.

Let me say that again…

The Dam Is Still There.

It is still blocking, stopping, impacting and affecting what is happening on the other side. It’s still impacting the quality of life in the river and the wildlife all around it. The ability of this entire eco-system to flourish is dependent on what is happening with that dam.

If you want More Life in your life then you really need to stop settling for trickles of water and get really desperate and thirsty for an overflow!

Breaking through the dam of resistance

You need to BREAK-THROUGH the dam!

Ask yourself this question, how desperate and thirsty am I for what’s on the other side of the river?

How do you Breakthrough Resistance?


The dictionary definition of resistance makes it super-clear to me that the only way to break through our resistance-dam is by way of the force of the water making contact with it.

This brings me back to my BIG WHY and wake-up call, the thing that kick-started this blog. Sometimes we think our why is big enough when really it isn’t, it’s not really enough to break through that dam. Water keeps filling up on the front side of it and all that’s happening is a reservoir is forming or if you’re really unlucky the banks are overflowing.

Why does this happen? Because we haven’t yet tapped into our desperation, we aren’t thirsty or hungry enough to exert the force necessary to punch a hole through it. Think about it, Is your why really BIG enough to counter the force of your resistance? If you practice brutal self-honesty you may have experienced a sense of unease and anxiety because deep down inside you know that it isn’t. No problem, I think most of us spend our time here. Generally, this happens when we haven’t become aware of what it is that we truly want, the driving force behind our existence and so naturally it becomes easier to settle for whatever is getting through the dam than exerting force to break through it.

The last few days of 2017 hit me with a massive wake-up call, after being sick and the breaking of a 16-year-old relationship I didn’t think much more could throw me. I was wrong.

This wake-up call was so HUGE that it made me look hard at my own personal dam again and say, “I can no longer have you there, I can no longer accept trickles of water, you’ve got to go”.I call it an awakening because I finally realised that a) I had been settling or coasting and b) I was faced with something so huge that I was left with no option but to go beyond my own fears and limitations because any other choice would be soul-crushing.

How to tell if it’s your BIG WHY

Here’s a couple of things I realised when I was having this epiphany, if the thought of failing doesn’t totally freak you out not because it’s hard but because you couldn’t bear the thought of failure, then it’s probably not your BIG Why. That’s because you won’t be able to tap into the desperation that you need to keep on pushing at the resistance. If this is not high-stakes for you, if there’s no cost then you will easily revert back to settling and will stop fighting.

Most entrepreneurs or people who want to start ministry have a why that is outside of them, it’s generally a very noble one or focused on financial breakthrough and explains why they are unable to push through the pain barrier and remain as they are.

If the thought of never experiencing what’s on the other side of the river causes you soul-crushing pain, then you’ve stumbled across the WHY that will help you break through the dam and move your mountains!

So, ask yourself this question, how much do I want it? Is the pain of not having it harder to bear than the pain of breaking through the resistance barrier?
1 Chronicles 14:11 says:

So [Israel] came up to Baal-perazim (Lord of Breakthroughs), and David smote the [Philistines] there. Then David said, God has broken my enemies by my hand, like the bursting forth of waters; therefore they called the name of that place Baal-perazim (Lord of breaking through).

Whilst many Christians are under the false belief that YHWH will somehow appear and do it all for them, David acknowledges a fundamental 2-part truth:
1. God does the work but
2. He does it by our hand

YHWH wants us to experience breakthrough, He is Lord of Breakthrough but we need to exert pressure through faith even when the fight seems too hard.

Are you willing? Let me help you.

I work with women who are desperate for change and are hungry to manifest the desires of their heart in all areas of their life. I will help you understand, strengthen and equip you to create an Abundant life through God’s Word alongside psychology, universal success principles and therapeutic mind-body approaches.

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